Episode 303: Are You Emotionally Outsourcing? The Real Reason You Feel Exhausted with Beatriz Victoria Albina
Do you ever feel like you can’t fully relax until everyone else around you is okay? Like you’re constantly scanning the room, the conversations, the energy – making sure no one is upset, disappointed, or uncomfortable… even if it means abandoning your own needs?
I’m so excited to have family nurse practitioner, coach, healing expert, and all-around wonder woman Beatriz Victoria Albina back on the show to talk about her new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits.
In this episode we talk about the unconscious habit Beatriz calls “emotional outsourcing” – when we source our sense of safety, belonging, and worth from everyone and everything outside ourselves, instead of within. We also explore the impacts it can have on our bodies, from chronic exhaustion to gut health and nervous system dysregulation.
If you’ve ever wondered why you’re always the fixer, the apologizer, the peacekeeper, or the one who holds everything together, this episode will take your lived experiences and share so many beautiful and practical somatic tools to rebuild your self-trust and find inner peace.
IN THIS EPISODE:
The top signs you’re stuck in a chronic cycle of people pleasing, perfectionism, or codependency, and how these habits disguise themselves as kindness or ambition
Beatriz’s journey from her medical practice to somatic healing and the links between nervous system dysregulation, gut health, and emotional exhaustion
Why the generational script handed down by our mothers is keeping modern women over-giving, under-valuing themselves, and perpetually on edge
Simple somatic practices you can start using TODAY to reconnect with your body, listen to your true needs, and interrupt those exhausting autopilot patterns
REFLECTION QUESTION
Reflect on specific relationships or situations where you notice yourself looking to others for your sense of safety, belonging, or worth. What does this actually look like in your day-to-day interactions? How does it feel in your body when you do this?
“When we get triggered, when we get activated in our nervous system and go back into our emotional outsourcing habits, our brain thinks we're 6 or 16 or 12 or 26, but it doesn't think we're the grown person we are right now. And so we just need to gently, lovingly remind it, like, hi there, it's 2025. It's not 1990 or 80 or whatever. You know what I mean? You're now. And so we simply do that by looking around the space we're in and letting the visual cortex in the brain relax the nervous system by showing it this reality in a conscious, thoughtful way.” - Beatriz Victoria Albina
“Emotional outsourcing is the term I coined and trademarked – because your girl is a savvy New Yorker – to replace some terms that feel kind of worn out, which are codependency, perfectionism, and people pleasing. I feel like we all kind of know what they are, but also don't. And so I sat down to find: what was the Venn diagram, what was the thing in the middle that made them all similar? And I found emotional outsourcing. It's when we chronically and habitually source our sense of the three vital human needs – safety, belonging, and worth – from everyone and everything outside of ourselves instead of from within at a great cost to self.” - Beatriz Victoria Albina
LINKS/RESOURCES MENTIONED
Learn more about Beatriz and her book on her website, on her Instagram page, on the Feminist Wellness podcast, and you can buy her book on Amazon.
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