How to Improve Your Mindset - Defeating Thoughts Like “I'm Too old” or “It's Too late”

ChangeHappiness

Jun 13

Have you ever really wanted to make a change? Maybe you tried it a few times. You tried really hard to do something that really scared you and challenged you, but it just didn’t work out the way you hoped. Inevitably, thoughts like, It was stupid for me to even try, I'm too old to make a big change, or It's too late start creeping in to defeat your intention of changing.

The reason that these limiting beliefs come up is actually really, really simple. Anytime you want to make a change, that change is forcing you to get out of your comfort zone. It’s throwing off your normal routine and your normal habits, and your brain wants to put a stop to that.

The three main parts of our brain evolved at very different paces. Oftentimes, we’re governed by the oldest part of our brain. It’s the most animal, the most reptilian, and the most instinctual. It just wants us to get away from pain and go towards pleasure. When you have thoughts that you want to change—you want to work out tomorrow, you want to not drink tomorrow, you want to start your business—immediately that part of your brain puts on the brakes. Your primal brain will come up with as many excuses as it can to stop you from changing.

I’m too old. It’s too late. I’m too young. I’m not educated enough. What these thoughts do is they put an external excuse in front of you, so that your hands are tied. You believe there’s nothing you can do. Here’s how to defeat these thoughts.

You’re Not Too Old

Now here’s why that’s crazy. I have worked with a woman who is 70 years old. Not only did she ditch alcohol and completely change her relationship with alcohol, she also got certified to become an alcohol-free life coach and is now starting a business to coach other people to ditch alcohol at 70 years old. So what's your excuse?

Are you still alive? Then it’s not too late.

What I like to do when people have these limiting beliefs is to help debunk them. If you want to accomplish something—and you think you're too old or you're too entrenched in a habit—just look at how many people got started really late in life when it comes to achieving some of their dreams.

There are some really cool examples of famous people who got started late in life. For example, Julia Child didn't publish her first book until she was 49. That book changed the world. It changed American cooking and launched her career as a famous cook and television personality. Charles Darwin was 50 years old when he published On the Origin of Species, the book literally responsible for the theory of evolution. There are people who haven’t run a day in their lives until they're in their 60s and 70s, and now they’re running marathons. There are examples all around you, so when are you too old to truly to make a change?

It’s Not Too Late

Maybe you tell yourself it's too late to change. It's too late for you to do a year without alcohol. It's too late for you to do even a month without alcohol. You've already formed this habit. You're in too deep. You're stuck. As long as you tell yourself that you have a valid excuse to give up before you try, you’re protecting yourself from the fear of failure. Because that’s what you're really afraid of.

You may be thinking, What if I commit wholeheartedly to a break from alcohol, and I can't do it? The thing is, most of us have committed to a break from alcohol and not done it successfully. That’s really normal. It can take a few times to get it right. Imagine if we put the same pressure on any other accomplishment in life.

Can you imagine if, the first time your baby tried to walk, you were thinking, Oh my god, they didn't do it perfectly. They fell down. They're never going walk. That’s insane, right? We would never say that. They try. And they try and they try and they try and they try. They might get it on their 50th or 100th time trying to try to walk. So why would you beat yourself up if it’s only the first or second or third time you've tried to take a break from alcohol? Why are you supposed to be perfect right outside out of the gates? Take the pressure off, take away the fear of failure, and just let it happen. Just let yourself explore and experiment and go for it.

Until you commit and until you really work on shifting your mindset, it is hard to change a habit. But if you have the right community, if you have the right tools, if you have the right mentor, anything is possible.

It's really not a question of how. When you look at something that seems really daunting and wonder, “How am I going to get there?” or “How am I going to be able to make this possible?”, that’s not the problem. Of course we don't know how to do something we've never done before. If you have a guide or a mentor with experience, they can help lead you and take the next steps. I put together an 8 part framework that you can follow to change your relationship with alcohol in my signature group coaching program, Become Euphoric. The program walks you through every single day you’re taking a break from alcohol so that you can do it successfully and change your mindset while you're at it.

Uncover The Truth

We all age, and yet there are people out there who defy those limits. There are people out there who are 60, who look like they are 35. There are people out there who are running marathons in their 80s. Age is just a number. So what's the truth of the matter?

Maybe you think you’re too young for a pursuit and don’t have enough experience. What if one day you wake up having snoozed on this dream because you’re too young and it switches to I’m too old?

If I think that I'm too young, remember being young gives you a lot of energy. It gives you a lot of enthusiasm and it even gives you naivety, which can be a great thing because it keeps you reaching for the stars. If I think I’m too old, you have a lot of wisdom. You have a lot of experience, you know yourself better, and probably don't care as much about what other people think about you. You have all these incredible gifts.

The truth of the matter is that your soul is eternal. You were meant to change and grow at every phase of your life—every single phase of your life. It's never too late to change, it is never too late to grow, it is never too late to take a chance on something and take a break from alcohol.

Like I said, are you alive? Then it’s not too late for you.

If this inspired you, think about what other limiting beliefs you may have. Ask yourself, Am I coming up with excuses instead of going after my dreams or my goals or making changes in my life? Because it's never too late. You're never too old. You're never too young. This is your dream life. There's nothing worth waiting for anymore. Just go do it. Take the first step. And, if you fall on the first step, that's okay. Just get back up again. Discover deeper truths and go into it with the right tools and a supportive community. My program, Become Euphoric, is designed to help you find your people and your purpose. I hope to see you there.