5 Steps to Stop Feeling Like the Odd One Out When You Go Alcohol-Free

ChangeHappiness

Jun 17

By Karolina Rzadkowolska

The American Cancer Society released new guidelines this week that are congruent with the latest in health research: it is best NOT to drink. Women’s cancer risk goes up by fifteen percent with a measly two drinks a week. The idea that one drink a day is good for you is getting uprooted and debunked as more comprehensive health studies are conducted.

Turns out, not drinking alcohol is one of the HEALTHIEST things you could do for your body and brain. Alcohol-free living is an avenue of wellness and personal growth. But just like with cigarettes, it’s going to take a while for the rest of the world to get the memo.

Alcohol is everywhere! We live in such a booze-centric society! It’s hard enough to change your habits at home, but navigating in the real world sans booze brings up hard issues like feeling a loss of belonging, like an outcast, or the odd one out.

You are on a different wavelength, it’s true, and that’s also your greatest advantage.

If you want to take a break and explore alcohol-free living, you’re going to have to come to terms with being an independent thinker. A rebel. Maybe even a lone wolf in a room full of sheep.

But I don’t want you to feel like an outcast either, and here are five steps to take so you can stop feeling like the odd one out and start celebrating your new healthy lifestyle.

1. Break the illusion of alcohol and see it for what it really is

When you put alcohol on a high pedestal, you’ll always feel deprived. You need to break the illusion you have and see alcohol for what it really is. Ethanol. The same exact ethanol that goes into your car. The same ethanol that could blind you if you drank 200 proof. Alcohol is having a cigarette moment, and one day we’ll look back at the absurdity of poisoning ourselves to have a good time and socialize.

Think about it. Does socializing really need to come with a side of hangovers? No, it doesn’t have to be that way. And the world IS slowly changing. Today there are more sober raves, mocktail bars, and alcohol-free soirees popping up all over the nation and world.

How are you romanticizing alcohol and how are those thoughts making you feel and behave?

2. Turn FOMO into JOMO

Oftentimes you feel like the odd one out because of the fear of missing out, or FOMO. Everyone is drinking around me and I don’t get to!!

Wow, what a horrible thought. It’s really not about drinking, but your THINKING about drinking. You don’t feel FOMO for things you don’t desire. If you’re a nonsmoker, I bet you don’t go around lamenting that you can’t smoke, right?

With alcohol, we’ve gotten so good at compartmentalizing the first twenty minutes of drinking as fun and forget about the rest of the experience! Hangovers, drinking more than you wish, feeling unmotivated and stuck, eating all the fast food the next day. Little short-term pleasures with horrible consequences are not what true contentment looks like.

So turn your FOMO into JOMO, or the JOY of missing out. The joy of missing out on hangovers, the joy of missing out on exorbitant bar tabs, the joy of missing out on lost memories, the joy of missing out on restless sleep, the joy of missing out on wasted mornings, could I go on?

Imagine for a moment what the people around you drinking will feel like tomorrow. And then tell yourself, it feels pretty good to be me! You get to socialize AND wake up with incredible self-esteem and pride. You get to go out and wake up at 6 am for a run. You get to have it all. A social life and your physical and mental health.

3. Act like a vegetarian

Do you think a vegetarian goes to a BBQ and stares wistfully at everyone eating ribs, bemoaning their predicament with their salad, and feeling sorry for themselves? Hell no.

Vegetarians are super proud of what they eat. They choose their lifestyle. They associate more health, vitality, and longevity with it. They also may have ethical reasons and are proud to live out their ethics on a daily basis.

They love to be vegetarian. They feel bad for the people eating meat because they know something others don’t. You need to view the alcohol-free lifestyle in the same exact way.

Let’s get a birds-eye view here. Would you worry about what other people would think if you ate salad while they ate chicken? Probably not. So why do we let this happen to us in regards to what’s in your cup!

Seriously, why should it matter that someone has something different in their cup versus yours? Why should that bring judgment? Almost every diet under the sun is acceptable these days. So why don’t we extend this freedom to what we drink?

You get to CHOOSE what you ingest. Start getting proud of your choices and act like a vegetarian.

4. Shake up your social routine

Now here’s a caveat. If every time you socialize you’re in a room full of drunk people, it’s gonna get old soon. Being around drunk people isn’t the most fun thing in the world. They even have studies that show that we are most attracted to people who aren’t drinking. It’s because slurring, repeating yourself, and not being a good listener isn’t that sexy.

So, you need to get creative on other ways to socialize and invite your friends along for alternate activities too. I know you have more in common with your best friends than just drinking and that you love them for a whole host of reasons. Invite them to go hiking, to yoga, to the dog park, out for coffee, etc. Get intentional about inviting your friends to do other things with you and learn to bond in new ways. Not saying you can’t attend the boozy stuff, just make sure your social needs are getting met too.

5. Expand your social circle

I want you to invite in more people into your life that are on the same wavelength as you and invested in their growth. Not saying you have to leave your drinking friends behind, but it’s really important to put yourself out there and find friends who really support you and who feed your soul. Go on meetup.com and search for a social sober club in your area. Start talking with alcohol-free people online in private Facebook groups and on Insta. The alcohol-free space is made for connection and we love meeting each other! There are also other lifestyle groups you could try where alcohol might be incongruent—like personal growth seminars, retreats, mindfulness spaces, etc.

When you surround yourself with people who want to become better versions of themselves, it rubs off on you like crazy. If you’re not doing that and you’re hungry for it, that’s on you. Get out there! Hanging out with alcohol-free women makes me feel like I’m buzzed. Because the energy I get when I’m with growth-oriented people is so much better than an alcohol buzz.

You might feel like the odd one out, like the lone wolf, but I promise there are other wolves out there ready to join you on your journey.

If you're ready to affirm your new alcohol-free identity and go after your biggest dreams, let's talk about how VIP coaching can get you there. Book a free discovery session here.

Make your desires for alcohol disappear when you read my book Euphoric: Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier, More Confident You. Click here to get your copy.