What Will Your Legacy Be? Leading a Generation of Future Non-Drinkers

ChangeHappiness

Feb 1

What is your why?

When I was questioning my relationship with alcohol, one hypothetical scenario kept coming up for me over and over again.

My thoughts kept returning to a hypothetical motherhood.

I don’t have children yet, but drinking in front of children, like my niece, always felt really icky to me. I didn’t like the example I was setting. I didn’t like her seeing me reach for a drink and what messages that conveyed to her. I didn’t want her to see me lose the sparkle in my eyes.

When I thought about the possibility of having children one day and how I want to show up for them, I could not with integrity see how alcohol could fit.

I never wanted my hypothetical children to see me blackout drunk. I didn’t want them to see me drinking on weekends and at social events and assume that overdrinking is the normal thing to do.

I want better for them. I want better for future generations.

What is your why? What motivates you to change your relationship with alcohol? Is it your kids? Is it the possibility of having a family someday?

Learn how to make alcohol small and leverage your alcohol-free lifestyle to model a different way for future generations.

The Meaning of an Alcohol-Free Lifestyle

When it comes down to it, it’s not about whether you “get to” have a beer with friends or unwind with a glass of wine after a long day. It’s not about immediate gratification. It's about your deeper purpose. Your health. Your life. Your why.

Ask yourself why you want to take a break from alcohol or ask why you’re already taking a break right now. The most common reasons are for our family or health.

Get clear on your why. Write down all the reasons you want to take a break from alcohol. When you’re finished, go back and prioritize them. Select your three biggest motivators. Chances are, if you’re a parent or want to be a parent, your kids will be in the top three.

Another great exercise is to identify your core values. What values do you embody or want to embody? Some examples of popular values are family, love, connection, learning, adventure, kindness, compassion, empathy, friendship, community, and giving.

Pinpoint your top five values. When you drink, do you embody these values? Are you acting out of love? Are you prioritizing your family? What about when you’re alcohol-free?

Knowing your why can help you live a life aligned with your values. Do the exercises above and keep your why and values top of mind. Use them to live a life that makes you proud.

Self-Forgiveness, Self-Love, and Moving Forward

Before we go any further, sometimes it’s helpful to pause and take an inventory of what got us to this point so far. Sometimes we do things we may not be wholly proud of.

Raising future generations of non-drinkers starts with you. Specifically, it starts with you evolving into a healthier, more confident version of yourself. To do that, you need to let go of shame. Practice radical self-forgiveness. How?

First, I want you to think about alcohol and drinking differently. Know that wanting another drink is normal. It’s just the way alcohol acts on our brains. Alcohol artificially floods our systems with dopamine to create a fleeting, 20-minute buzz. To keep that buzz going, you need to continue to drink. It’s not a personal failing. Alcohol is an addictive toxin. You’re not the problem.

Now that you see alcohol for what it is, shift your focus from past actions to the gifts you will give your children and/or loved ones now that you’re alcohol-free. Now you can show up the way you want to. You’re fully present. You’re living in-line with your values. You can finally be the parent, caretaker, or beloved aunt you always wanted to be.

Another important thing to do is practice self-compassion. Forgiveness starts with self-compassion. There are so many ways to be kinder to yourself. Try loving kindness meditation, ask yourself what you would say to a friend, or journal about your experience. I highly recommend checking out resources from Dr. Kristin Neff to learn more about self-compassion and how to prioritize self-compassion in your day-to-day life.

Lastly, when you feel comfortable, find your people. It may feel a little unsettling at first but finding people who can relate to your lived experience is a beautiful and necessary part of healing. If you are the mom of young children or you would like to have a family someday, seek out other women at the same stage of their journeys.

Check out my ditch alcohol programs to join a loving community of growth-minded women to support you as you make these changes.

You’re a Product of Your Conditioning

What does it take to move forward? Know you’re a product of your conditioning. Society conditions us to overdrink.

Think about the first time you saw an ad for alcohol. Think back to the first time you saw a relative drinking. Most of us were too young to remember.

Growing up, we saw adults drink at holiday parties, birthdays, barbecues, and most get-togethers. You may have seen your parents drinking at home too. Maybe they cracked open beers on the weekends. Maybe they drank a glass of wine at dinner. Chances are, alcohol was around pretty frequently.

Then most of our peers drank in high school and college, right? In college, it wasn’t called overdrinking or binge drinking. It was just normal.

The narrative is changing. Young people are drinking less and less. One day, I truly believe we’re going to look at alcohol the same way we look at cigarettes now. Remember just a few decades ago, it was normal to smoke. Doctors even prescribed cigarettes to their patients!

By looking back and challenging the messages that were all around you growing up, you can inspire future generations to see things differently.

Leading Future Generations of Non-Drinkers

Ask yourself what you can do to change the narrative. How can you show your children and future generations a different way?

First, it starts with you and your actions. By living an alcohol-free lifestyle, you are already on the right path. Your children, your future children, and any other kiddos in your life will see and notice you not drinking. To them, your behavior is normal. Think about what a beautiful gift you’re giving to them by normalizing not drinking alcohol.

I’ve had many young adults tell me that they wish they didn’t have to drink. They know it sets them up to feel like crap, but they also don’t see an alternative outside their social lives. They feel a pressure or expectation to drink. Do you want your kids to grow up with that same expectation and pressure? Do you want an alcohol habit forced on your children just the same way it was implicitly forced on us?

The best thing we can do is stand up to alcohol culture and show future generations that there is a way to thrive, cope, and socialize without alcohol needed. The ripple effects we can create are huge.

What if only half your peers drank in college? What if your parents rarely drank? What if you saw your relatives with alcohol-free alternatives on special occasions?

There is so much power in creating a new normal. To change the narrative, you don’t have to say anything. Your actions speak for you.

When you talk to your children about alcohol, make sure they know it’s okay not to drink and educate them about the health effects of drinking any amount of alcohol. New studies are coming out that just one drink increases heart disease and cancer risk. Just one drink negatively impacts brain health.

When you go alcohol-free, I encourage you to do the inner work. Think about your why. Know your reasons for living this lifestyle and what you want from this change. If you want to be a better parent or change the narrative around drinking for future generations, now is the perfect time to do it.

By simply not drinking, you can show them a better way. You can be a powerful agent for change.

Beautiful, if you want to make alcohol insignificant and begin changing the narrative for your children or future children, I encourage you to get started today. Join Become Euphoric to get science-backed tools, powerful mindset shifts, and a supportive community to help you transform your relationship with alcohol.