Episode 138: Your Upper Limit

Sep 22

Do you ever feel like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop? Are you subconsciously creating limits to how much happiness, goodness, success, love and abundance you are allowed to have in your life? Well beautiful, you are not alone.

Karolina is digging into the subconscious upper limits we place around how much joy or success that we believe we deserve. Learn where upper limits come from and why we are often resistant to challenging them. It isn’t always about a fear of failure - these limits also exist around our success (see how it showed up for Karolina while she was writing her book proposal). Tune in to discover what’s holding you back and how to expand beyond these false barriers!

Exposing your upper limits.

I have spent many years growing my independent business, tackling my goals of writing a book, creating new programs and ultimately leaving my 9 to 5 job. I’ve reached a point in my career of abundance. Because of all this, my husband and I were able to spend three months living in Europe this past summer.

As incredible as it was to spend my summer buying fresh produce from markets and swimming in the warm Croatian waters, I also noticed I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. My idea of success growing up did not encompass the desires of my heart and things that I really, actually want to do on this planet.

When we challenge and surpass our subconscious beliefs, we hit our Upper Limit. This can manifest as self-sabotage and being overly critical. There are all kinds of unhealthy expressions. For me, it tends to be in the form of worrying about everything. When my brain is saying, “Karolina, you don't deserve it to be this good.”

This phrase Upper Limit comes from psychologist Gay Hendricks, author of The Big Leap. It’s the idea that our culture, life experiences, and community lead us to place an artificial cap on what we deserve. We subconsciously create limits to how much happiness, goodness, success, love and abundance we are allowed to have in our lives.

Hendricks explains this upper limit as a thermostat. We each have a thermostat set to a specific number. The function of a thermostat is to keep a room at a specific temperature, whether by raising the temperature if it gets too cool, and dropping the temperature if it becomes too warm.

When life is filled with abundance and thriving, and we surpass our internal temperature, we become uncomfortable and try to modulate, returning back to our comfort space. This is totally normal, AND we also have the ability to challenge that set point and live abundant and thriving lives!

Challenging evolution.

Our brains have evolved over a span of 5 million years, and they’ve evolved to look for problems, protect us from danger, to help us survive as a species by staying alert to all possible hazards. But in our modern lives, where we are rarely in life threatening circumstances, our brains are still prone to search for the negative in every situation.

Humans have around 60,000 thoughts every single day, and around 80% of those thoughts are negative! Crazy, right?! It's our job, the conscious part of us, the intuitive and higher self part of ourselves, to work on our happiness, our self-worth, and how much goodness we will allow in our lives.

How long will you allow yourself to feel good? How much are you willing to believe that you deserve to feel good, that it's part of your birthright?

As people tip-toe around the idea of going alcohol-free, they often can see the practical benefits of shifting, but they also feel like they’d be missing something huge. Can you relate? Their resistance is stuck in this idea of loss and deprivation, when there is actually tremendous gain from ditching alcohol!

Many times a person will take a break from alcohol, and then start drinking again, and waffle inbetween. Subconsciously, that back and forth can often be a way of stopping the good feelings and freedom that come with being alcohol-free. There’s a thought that, it really can’t just keep getting better, can it?

Resistance is what keeps us from going after our dreams and goals. If we don’t believe we can achieve them or even deserve to try, then why would we bother? Of course you would choose to pour a glass of wine instead of challenging those fears and false beliefs. Because if alcohol wasn’t in your way, you’d no longer have an excuse to not go after your dreams.

Fear of success.

I remember, in 2019, the next step to get my book out was writing a book proposal. It’s basically a business plan for your book, arguing why it's going to be a sensation. It requires a lot of research and a specific writing approach, and I kept procrastinating on starting it. It was a daunting task!

After digging deep, my intuition revealed how writing the draft of my book was private (only I saw it), but a proposal was meant for someone else, AND they would have the power to reject me. My true resistance to writing the proposal? Fear of rejection.

Our Upper Limit is a false protection from having to really try or to go after our fullest potential. You were afraid of that failure, and conversely, you were afraid of success.

Why are we afraid of success?

Part of our Upper Limit is also connected to a fear of no longer belonging and our quest for belonging is in direct contrast with our bigger dreams. If you choose to become alcohol-free and everyone else drinks, it’s possible you will lose that comfort of belonging.

We also know though, that alcohol actually inhibits true connection and belonging. So in truth we don't just fear failure. We fear success because that means we will be different from someone, and maybe even get judged for being successful.

The easiest way to challenge our doubts, fears, and resistance is to surround ourselves with others who are doing that thing. When you're in proximity with people who are doing the thing you want to do, it helps your brain believe it’s possible for you too!

I believe that each one of us has an inner critic and a higher self, but often the loudest voice is our inner critic. Working with a coach is another powerful way to challenge our Upper Limit by creating space to hear and listen to our higher self.

So where does your Upper Limit show up? Are you willing to challenge that and raise your thermostat to experience the abundance, love, and goodness that is your birthright?

“When you're in proximity with people who are doing the thing you want to do, it starts to change what you believe as possible. It starts to heat up your thermostat. It starts to elevate your upper limit. It starts to challenge the stories you've believed for a long time, as not true.” Karolina Rzadkowolska

LINKS/RESOURCES MENTIONED

Check out Gay Hendricks’ book, The Big Leap, to better understand your Upper Limits and how they’ve manifested for you in alcohol and in pursuing your bigger dreams.

Sober October is around the corner which means Dry Boot Camp is starting soon on October 4. Join this mini coaching program and work with Karolina and an incredible group of women for 22 days. Take a break from alcohol and discover how to care for your emotional needs in healthy, beautiful and luxurious ways. Learn more and register today!

Karolina’s book is available in hardcover, Kindle, and as an audiobook. Be sure to get your copy of Euphoric: Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier, More Confident You today and leave your review.

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