Two Missing Pieces To Your Fulfillment

ChangeHappiness

May 24

What is fulfillment? How do we feel fulfilled?

Oftentimes, when people make transformations in their life, it starts with a little bit of pain. That pain gets our attention. It gets us thinking. I’m off course here. Something’s not in alignment. Something doesn’t feel good.

When I work with women to change their relationship with alcohol, many times, it's not at a stereotypical rock bottom moment. There isn’t a single moment when they realize, Oh my God, alcohol has completely taken over my life. Instead, they recognize that they're not living out their deeper purpose. They're doing the same thing every weekend, and their health isn’t what it could be. Alcohol doesn't make them feel good, because alcohol is a toxic beverage. They feel like something needs to change.

Alcohol doesn't serve you. When you remove it, it creates a lot of space to discover what really does serve you and to create a life that is built on meaning and fulfillment. Finding fulfillment in your life is so important. If you don't, you'll be unhappy, right? You'll have this deep discontent. You’ll always wonder what you could have done or who you could have been.

And it’s not just about happiness. Happiness is great, but I think fulfillment goes even deeper. I'm going to share with you the two pieces people are missing when it comes to fulfillment in their lives.

The First Missing Piece: Growth

The two missing pieces that most people do not actively incorporate into their lives are growth and contribution. Why are most people failing to incorporate them?

Let's start with growth. Growth is the idea that you are always striving to become a wiser, more intuitive, and more aligned version of yourself. You’re not competing with someone else. You're just striving to become a better version of you.

Growing would mean that you are actively learning new things. You’re actively getting mentored. You're actively trying new things. Growth is so important. If you really think about it, everything is either growing or dying. Trees grow or die. Animals grow or die. Even the universe itself is expanding right now.

It's common for us to have growth early in our lives. We grow a lot when we're really young. We learn a lot. We develop a lot. We have teachers, we have mentors, and we go to school and college. And it’s not just intellectual growth. We grow emotionally and spiritually, too. Then we get into adulthood, and we hit this plateau. We stop growing, and we stop valuing growth. This is a huge missing piece. Because if we're not growing, we're dying. If we're not expanding our beliefs and expanding what we think is possible and expanding what we personally can do in our worlds, we're dying. Emotionally. Spiritually. That's why discontent and unfulfillment are so normal in our society.

Maybe evolution is even a better word than growth because you're always evolving. If you're not evolving, you're stuck and you're stagnant and you're technically dying. So how do you grow?

Learn. Learning is a growth mechanism, and you can learn in all kinds of ways. You could learn through books. You could learn through conferences. You could learn through podcasts. You could learn through live videos. And it can go much, much deeper than just learning something new.

Honestly, I think it's not just learning something new, it's doing something new. You have to get out of your comfort zone in order to grow. I remember the first few times I pitched myself to be on a podcast. I put myself out there in a scary way. The first few times I did that, it was terrifying. I was like, Oh my God, what if I'm rejected? What if they don't like me? I was so scared. These days, it’s not a big deal anymore. I grew and evolved.

Changing your relationship with alcohol is another perfect example. You’re so stuck in this comfort zone of using alcohol to relax and have fun. To change that pattern, you have to take a leap of faith. And that is growth. Especially if do the work to really change your beliefs around alcohol, it’s going to lead to a lot of growth.

Growth leads us to get to know ourselves better and get to know what we want. When we grow, we really build up our self-worth. When we grow, you tell yourself, I have value, and it's worth it to invest time and energy into my growth.

If growth isn't part of your like formula—if it's not something you're actively doing right now—that's a huge missing piece to your happiness. If you don't have growth in your life, you're going to feel unfulfilled. Let me tell you how I do it. I'm always reading. I listen to podcasts. Most importantly, I always have a mentor. I always have a coach or take part in a group program. Why? Because I can't see what's next. I don’t know how to do the next big thing because I haven't done it yet. I don't have any experience with it. I work with mentors to help me get to that level because that's where they are. They can share their experience.

When you grow, you literally increase your value in society. You attract more money, more abundance, and more opportunities. It's a beautiful thing.

If you don't have a commitment to growth in your life, I highly recommend it. You will never be disappointed in investing time and energy in yourself and your growth. Make a plan for growth today, and your plan could start here. We're starting to enroll in the Become Emboldened program. Become Emboldened is a four-month program for women who are already alcohol-free. I recommend you start with at least two months alcohol-free. The program helps women who want to become solid and confident in their alcohol-free identity and remove all the romanticism around alcohol—and then go on to discover and go after their deeper purpose.

My clients have gone on to start businesses that are so successful they’re able to quit their nine to five jobs and literally do whatever they want. They're able to write books, they're able to launch podcasts, and they’re able to embark on incredible travels. They are able to do so much more because they started growing themselves.

The Second Missing Piece: Contribution

The second missing piece to true fulfillment is contribution. Contribution is the idea that our lives have meaning because we give back. We make a difference or have an impact.

We see how many broken systems there are. We see what's happening to the environment. We see so many things that are just not right in our world. To feel like you can contribute and make a difference to the things that hurt your heart really, really, really matters.

I'm not just talking about volunteering or donating a little money. Those things are great, but when I talk about contribution, I'm talking about feeling like what you do really matters. That it’s changing lives. When you volunteer, you may not be systemically changing the problem. More often than not, it's just that one moment. It's like a band-aid.

I'm talking about making your life about giving back, about helping other people—and it's often tied to your greater purpose. What does this look like? My favorite way is becoming a mentor and helping other people work on a challenge that I’ve already overcome. But there are so many incredible ways to do it.

You can create or build something that helps other people. There are so many wonderful alcohol-free communities nowadays. There are alcohol-free bars and mocktail events. These are contributions that change lives, that help people build lasting connections. Another possibility is changing lives by writing a book, by sharing your story. Change lives by coaching someone. Change lives by starting any business you want and then donating the proceeds to something you really care about. There's so much power and so much empowerment when we step into our purpose.

If you want more—if you really want to make growth and contribution a huge cornerstone of your life and especially of your alcohol-free lifestyle—I highly recommend joining the Become Emboldened group program. We are going to do four months together of not only getting confident in this alcohol-free identity but also using it as this leverage point to go after your bigger dreams. To really hone in on discovering your deeper purpose and going after it in a community of women who are doing the exact same thing. We're going to have some incredible guest speakers, we're going to have group coaching calls, and we're going to really push ourselves outside of our comfort zone in this program in the most loving and supportive way possible.

Most programs just help you remove the alcohol. In this program, it's not about the alcohol. It's about making space in your life for what you really want, for what you're supposed to do with your life, for your meaning, for your purpose, for your fulfillment. I would love to see you join Become Emboldened. I really believe it's the next step for you if you've already changed your beliefs around alcohol, and you want to go deeper into your purpose and potential.