Episode 67: Permission to Relax
We all deserve to relax, take time off, and have more joy and fun in our lives.
It’s so easy to intertwine relaxing with alcohol, especially when we’re constantly on the move and working really hard. It changes our state faster than just about anything. But when you go from a drinking lifestyle to an alcohol-free one, it takes a new way of being to grant yourself the permission to relax.
This conversation was inspired by a fun pool day Danielle and Karolina had recently and covers perspectives on fight or flight mode, your primitive brain, inner child work, managing stress, and their favorite relaxation strategies that don’t involve alcohol.
Drinking alcohol keeps you in a horrible loop that never resolves itself.
During the day, it’s easy to become addicted to the adrenaline rush and hamster wheel of constantly reacting - whether it’s a deadline we’re gunning to meet or a pile of tasks we’re checking off our to-do lists.
And at night, drinking can be a way to numb those feelings and turn off from that fight or flight mode we’re in during the day. It can make drinking more alluring than it actually is. It has a way to shut off that adrenaline rush in the moment, but it ultimately creates a cycle of more cortisol and adrenaline running through your system.
When we drink to bring that system down, we’re robbing ourselves of the learning opportunity at hand: how can you really nurture yourself? What new rituals can you incorporate into your day to mark the end of it? How can you start your mornings better? When you take a break or quit for good, you open up that learning pathway and can recognize the growth.
Create an arsenal of healthy relaxation rituals.
Sometimes this will take some trial and error. The goal is to not feel like meditation, or yoga, or whichever your preferred relaxation ritual is, feels like another item to check off your to-do list.
Danielle has grown fond of epsom salt baths and takes at least three per week. But sometimes she doesn’t want to be trapped in a hot bathtub and craves the feeling of getting out in nature with her dogs, or burning fresh incense in her house and doing a guided meditation.
Karolina stresses how important having boundaries is to her well-being. Running a business can take a lot of time, so having some days completely unplugged or visiting her chiropractor for a massage, or even ordering a vegan meal to her front door feels so luxurious and helps signal the end of the day. In the mornings, she swears by a daily meditation practice that stacks positive emotions on top of each other. It asks you to think about the most grateful, loving, and exciting moments in your life. She’ll follow it up with a cup of tea or coffee and a nice, leisurely walk.
Tap into your intuition to figure out which tools you need to pull in, in each individual moment. Sometimes yoga might feel like the worst thing on the planet, while other days it may feel like the most soothing and option. You could even go for a run, or try journaling to see what feels right for you.
The Artist’s Way will get you out of your comfort zone.
Danielle is re-reading The Artist’s Way for the second time, and there are so many beautiful ideas in there for reconnecting to yourself and your creativity.
Sometimes being around people may not be the thing you need. It’s okay to say no and take that alone time.
One of the sections in the book encourages you to take an artist’s date every week. It could even mean leaving the house with $5 and walking to your favorite thrift store to buy a pair of vintage jeans. There’s even a part of the program where you plan a whole day or weekend getaway all to yourself. Danielle plans to take the train up to LA and explore an area that she’s never been.
Taking ourselves out of our comfort zones in this way will shake up our routines. Karolina recalls a moment where her and Danielle were on a trip in St. Thomas. It was 8pm and there was an urge to stay in and watch a movie, where there was another tug to go for a walk. And that night, they saw the most beautiful moon and a rocky pier that they could walk out on. The weather was balmy and gorgeous.
And yet, that moment almost didn’t happen. Sometimes we need to fight against our resistance and push through it to experience something memorable and joyful.
“I take up space here on this planet. I am not trading my place here on the planet for all these things I can do to prove that I am worthy. I just take up space for who I am.”
LINKS/RESOURCES MENTIONED
Euphoric Alcohol-Free Facebook Group
Danielle’s San Diego Recovering Women Meetup group
Follow Euphoric Alcohol-Free on Instagram
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