Ep 96: The Holidays Are Coming!

Can you believe we’ve entered the holiday season already? From your Thanksgiving feast, to gift giving, to New Year’s Eve, these next couple of months are filled with joy, loved ones, and a pressure to drink a lot.

Karolina and Danielle sit down to talk about being alcohol-free during the holidays. Rekindle your child-like wonder, engage in beautiful conversations, set boundaries, and be fully present as you move through this season of cheer. What could be possible if you gave yourself the gift of an alcohol-free holiday season?

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Before and after, alcohol and the holidays

Are you a big fan of the holiday season? Maybe you have special winter mugs or cozy family traditions that get you in the spirit.

Danielle reflected on how much she loves this time of year, but her experience of the winter holidays has drastically changed since becoming alcohol-free. While she was still drinking, she looked forward to the holidays because she knew that everyone would be drinking alongside her. It was a time to let loose.

Now, she describes her experience as childlike. She notices the little details and decorations that people spend time on. She enjoys being fully present for conversations with loved ones and can appreciate the delicious food.

Danielle even created new ways of celebrating to make her shift away from alcohol more exciting. At Friendsgiving she might bring a new game to play or while prepping for Christmas, she’ll spend quality time cooking with her Mom or making her own special meal for dinner.

For me, as much as I love the holidays, I also used to dread them. Before I became alcohol-free, I would enter the winter season knowing that it wasn’t going to end well. I would inevitably wake up hungover, feeling ashamed, or worse, embarrassed. I felt incongruous and bad anytime I drank in front of kids.

Now, without alcohol, the holidays bring a deeper and joy-filled experience. I get to really appreciate my niece and nephew. When they get a new game or a toy, I can play with them. Alcohol no longer hinders that quality time.

Coming from a Polish-Catholic family, wine has always been a big part of the holidays, and I look back at old photos and feel embarrassed. I always woke up with a hangover on Christmas day. Today, I bring my own non-alcoholic wine or Kombucha and I don’t need to worry about drinking too much, having a hangover the next day, or not remembering the special moments.

Today, the holidays bring a whole new depth of connection, gratitude, and reflection.

Home for the holidays and being alcohol-free with family and friends

Danielle reflected on a moment when her Mom asked her if she really needed to drink so much during the holidays. Her retort was that it was her way of enjoying her vacation. In reality though, it wasn't always fun and she would end up frustrated and mad at herself by the end of the festivities.

Now alcohol-free, Danielle creates beautiful new traditions. She plays hostess and cooks tasty food for her fiance’s family. And on Christmas morning, instead of being preoccupied with alcohol or mimosas, she and her fiance take their dogs for a nice long walk before their family arrives. The sheer contrast of her holiday experiences in the past vs. the present day leave her with such gratitude and wonder.

As amazing the holidays are, being with family can also make you feel like you’re 12 years old again. It can be hard for relatives to appreciate the person you’ve become and see how much you’ve grown.

Something that Danielle and I have found to be important is setting healthy boundaries. This could look like leaving the party when it gets to be too much, or leaving a conversation with people who are drunk.

If you decide not to drink at a family gathering, you may also be asked by family members about your decision. You can come up with a quick sentence ahead of time to end the conversation, or just change the topic. It’s important to set boundaries that support you and your alcohol-free journey. You deserve it and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices.

It took a little bit for my family to get used to my not drinking, but now I bring a special non-alcoholic beverage and take part in the same toasts.

Remember to be proud of what you are doing for yourself. You are incredible for being on this journey and choosing to embrace the best version of yourself.

Staying curious and finding the joy

Maybe you’re not alcohol-free yet and you're thinking about it, but the holidays feel too overwhelming. If that’s you, we encourage you to give it a try. You don’t have to commit to never drinking during the holidays again, but give yourself the gift of curiosity.

What could you experience this holiday season if you weren’t preoccupied with drinking?

Danielle went alcohol-free on December 17th and embraced the holiday season at the beginning of her sober journey. Her advice is to think deeply about your mindset as you approach taking a break from alcohol.

Be curious and stay excited. Your mentality makes a difference in how you feel and experience the holiday seasons without alcohol.

Did you know that it doesn’t actually take 21 days to form a new habit? Studies have found that it's less about time and more about the positive emotions you feel as you change to new behaviors.

Taking a break from alcohol may also bring about some emotions, especially during the holidays and being around your closest family and friends. Danielle encourages you to sit with these feelings and journal about them. Ask where they came from and why you might be craving alcohol. These feelings are great opportunities to understand yourself more!

One of my favorite things to support me is implementing a gratitude practice. This is another meaningful way to fully absorb the beauty of the holidays as you navigate being alcohol-free.

This holiday season, gift yourself with an entirely new experience - one with childlike joy, deep connection, and an abundance of cheer. Being alcohol-free for the holidays is a gift you deserve!

“I think it's just remembering to be really proud about your decision. No matter what your story is, it is a point of pride. It really truly is… you woke up! Other people might still be sleepwalking around you in many different ways. But you should always be super proud about it.” Karolina Rzadkowolska