Ep 95: Being Alcohol-Free at a Wedding

Nov 18

It’s officially wedding season, and newsflash: drinking is not the only way to commemorate a special occasion! You might be wondering, what does it look like to be alcohol-free at a wedding? What should you drink? And how should you prepare beforehand?

In this week’s episode, Karolina and Danielle share their experiences when it comes to alcohol, weddings, and the marriage of drinking and celebration in our culture. As they reflect, you’ll learn tactical tips to support yourself in being alcohol-free at special events and how to be an inclusive host when you have alcohol-free guests. Tune in as Karolina and Danielle unmarry the relationship of celebration and alcohol!

Karolina’s new book Euphoric: Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier, More Confident You, made bestseller status on Amazon! Sign up today to be part of her Euphoric Book Launch Inner Circle. When you preorder the book and sign up for the team, you'll get an advanced reader copy to read as early as today. You'll also get some cool bonuses and a chance for an author Q&A! Expand your network and meet other incredible alcohol-free badasses. You also get a behind the scenes look at what goes into a book launch. All that’s asked in return is a review of the book and sharing it with your friends.

Supporting yourself at weddings on your alcohol-free journey

Whether you are a seasoned non-drinker or new to the alcohol-free lifestyle, it can be challenging to attend any event that enmeshes drinking with celebration. Weddings are a prime example of this.

Danielle explains when she was newly sober and attending weddings, she would give herself permission to leave when she was no longer having fun. This is a great way to support yourself, especially in the early days of your alcohol-free journey. You don’t have to stay for the entire event.

To prepare for the main event, ground yourself the day before. Yoga, meditation, and hot baths have helped Danielle get centered, remember her values, and remind herself of who she is.

Here are some of our other favorite strategies for navigating the pre-event jitters:

Have a safe person to talk with and be open with about how you’re feeling and your experience.
Bring a non-alcoholic beverage with you to make sure you have something, or plan ahead on a fun mocktail you might want to order.
Allow yourself the freedom to dance and move your body, especially since everyone else is probably drinking and not paying attention to your dancing!
Find a common point of interest with other guests to help ease anxiety and give you something to talk about .

Which tip do you think would be most supportive for you?

Unmarrying alcohol and celebration

When I got married I wasn’t yet alcohol-free, and the number one worry on my mind was that I was going to drink too much. I committed to not drinking for the beginning of the day through the ceremony.

Once I was at the reception, I felt like I had earned the right to have a drink. I tried hard to not drink too much at my reception, but then there was an after party and I drank more than I planned to. Looking back, drinking actually impacted some of my memories of my own wedding day.

Our society has created a culture that marries drinking alcohol with celebration. From college graduations to weddings, birthday parties to passing a board exam, it is expected that drinking is the best and maybe only way to commemorate special occasions.

As a result, we often experience shame, guilt, embarrassment, or regret, instead of only holding on to the joy of the event.

Imagine attending a wedding and not drinking and being fully present for the entire day.

What would that feel like?

Abstaining from that cocktail or glass of wine creates space for us to be immersed in the moment. You’ll notice all of the stunning details and decor, have meaningful conversations, and wake up feeling amazing and energized the next day.

When alcohol is a part of your life, it takes up so much space and mental energy. Thoughts and inner talk preoccupy your mind about how much you’ll drink, when the open bar closes, whether you’re okay to drive, how you will feel the next day, or what other people are thinking.

Hosting and celebrating the special moments without alcohol

Before I was alcohol-free, I would never have thought about integrating non-alcoholic options at my wedding. Now I realize there are so many beautiful ways to host and support others who may not want to drink.

Studies have recently shown that more than half of all Americans want to drink less or not at all. More than that, forty-six percent of Americans have purchased a non-alcoholic beverage in the past year.

This is so encouraging!

If you’re at an event and you start feeling like you’re the only one not drinking or that people are judging you, remember these statistics. They are a great reminder that you are doing something that more people wish they had the ability and strength to do. You get to be an example to them of what’s possible!

Danielle shares a memory of a really important test she took for her board certification back before she was alcohol-free. She learned that she passed the next day at 9:00 in the morning. Her automatic choice to celebrate this amazing outcome and her hard work was to go day drinking.

When she reflects back on that memory, she realizes how out of alignment it was with her integrity and values.

The truth is, there are endless ways to celebrate something important. I now commemorate special occasions or wins by watching a sunset. I find a great viewing location and reflect on the special experience that I’m holding on to. Now, when I look back on important moments in my life, they are always accompanied by a gorgeous sunset.

What are some ways you can create new, alcohol-free, traditions for celebrating joy in your life?

“Oftentimes women can be a little bit more intuitive. A guy can go to a wedding, drink too much, wake up the next day, depending on who he is, and just kind of laugh it off… But a woman often feels like she's dying of shame the next day because it's so unaligned with the values she has and who she wants to be.” Karolina Rzadkowolska